It isn’t something I ever really expected to happen. Granted, other people’s moms and sisters and best friends got cancer all the time. But not mine.
It has nothing to do with the statistics (about 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime). I used to think about those nasty numbers and how they related to my classmates, my colleagues, my co-workers, my circle of friends. It was so overwhelming and daunting. Eventually someone in that circle gets a diagnosis, or maybe two of them do. And then it REALLY hits home. It is either your best friend . . . or you.
There isn’t a whole lot you can do but be there for her. Listen to her story over and over, have a good cry, and tell her that she is braver than brave and will beat this thing with one arm tied behind her back and blindfolded. She is just that strong. Maybe she is stronger than you, but you don’t let on. You just reassure her that it is only hair and it will grow back. And that she is just as cute as Sinead O’Conner, and didn’t we just adore that video way back when?
So my dear friend and I decide to take the bull by its horns and do something as crazy and wacky as we would have done twenty years ago. She, being a hairdresser, gives herself a slightly crooked Mohawk and sprays it an obnoxious shade of PINK. I, being a photographer, take some pictures of her to prove she is just as beautiful with half a head of really bad pink hair. And we go out and shoot photos in the park on a gorgeous spring afternoon. We ignore the old man who followed us around and stared us down. He wouldn’t understand. But we do.
So, today we laugh and win one round against the horrible beast called breast cancer. Tomorrow, we will win another round, and another round, until it is history. It won’t always be easy. But as long as your friends are there for you, the road is a lot less rocky.
This is dedicated to my friend, Erin. This is a testimonial to her spirit and her sense of humor and her courage. Erin, you are beautiful inside and out and I love you!
I say high, you say low.
You say “Why?” And I say “I don’t know.”
Oh no.
You say goodbye, and I say hello.
The Beatles
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